if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
