omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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