hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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