like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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