Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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