Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
