call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
