After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
