How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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