bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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