so that wasnt chicken after all
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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