My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
