You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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