Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
