i wish peter jackson would direct porn
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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