I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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