he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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