Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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