This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She swung at the pinata with crutches
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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