Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
