He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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