i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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