I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
