I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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