Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
