Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
