she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
