So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
