I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think I am morally bankrupt
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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