How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
