I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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