He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
