I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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