i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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