I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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