cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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