Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
