Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
