You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
