I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
