Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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