Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
