dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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