office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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