My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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