The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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