i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
