I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
