Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We talked him into tasing himself.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize