Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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