Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
